Where's The Beefcake?: Wolverine Vs. UFC 2009 Edition

Gaming fans of rough and tough "masculine" men have been thrown two very meaty bones recently: X-Men Origins: Wolverine and UFC 2009: Undisputed. Both titles feature some amount of interactive HD man-candy and are genuinely good games, but which is going to be most worth your time and attention? Let's take a close look shall we?

First up, we'll examine X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the game adaptation of the fun, but forgettable summer movie. It's easy to see where this action brawler takes its cues from since it doesn't try to hide the similarities to God of War (another beefcake-filled favorite) and Ninja Gaiden. Action centers on a lunge mechanic that has Wolvie flying through the air tackling strange men. It isn't nearly as sexy as I would like it to be, but still makes for some quick, vicious combat. Over the course of combat, Marvel's musclebear will get banged up with damage ranging from tears in clothing to large gaping holes in his torso. This basically means that the entire game you'll be looking at a shirtless version of Hugh Jackman that's even more beefy here than in real life. Oddly, the game brings attention to one of Wolverine's lesser known abilities that I haven't seen in any comic book. Occasionally, Logan's wife-beater will spontaneously and amusingly regenerate for no apparent reason (I'm betting someone on the development team has an a-shirt fetish). One large stretch of gameplay has the Tony Awards host running around in nothing but a pair of very nicely filled out boxer briefs. Like a mother walking into her son's room while he's doing something he shouldn't, it was at this point that my boyfriend choose to enter the room and began to question if I was playing the game because it was good or to find out if there was any nudity. I assured him the game was very fun and continued playing. Disappointingly, there's no nudity marker on the ESRB rating...

Also on the table is the mixed martial arts fight club known as UFC 2009: Undisputed. This highly realistic and brutal fighter provides a little in the way of story, but is heavy on the action (where have I heard something like that before?). Matches are setup just like a real fight with a 1-on-1 display of various fighting styles. For simplicity of gameplay this essentially boils down to Stand Up fighters with specialties along the lines of boxing and kickboxing, and Grapplers with like to get grabby with wrestling and judo moves. In terms of the variety of meats, this one has Wolverine beat many times over with a roster of over 80 playable fighters. Though, be warned that your mileage may vary since not all of these guys are cute/hot/doable. While I have only recently started to follow UFC matches closely, I find it increasingly funny to hear my straight peers discuss matches and this game. Aside from the occasional bit of blood, this is basically the foreplay to just about every hyper-masculine "adult video" ever created. Hearing comments like "he got his ass pounded hard last night!" without so much as a giggle from a straight coworker of mine is just as ridiculous as it is hilarious. The fact that straights get excited about clearly homoerotic fighting amazes me when there are moves that are more than a little questionable.

At the end of the day, both of these games are great representations of their respective genres and are worth any genre fans attention. They both show more than a little bit of skin in way that isn't pandering like a game created by Tomonobu Itakgaki (Dead or Alive, Ninja Gaiden), but remain titillating for admirers of muscular flesh. Picking one is a tough personal choice that I'm sure will be different for every fan of masculine man candy, but I genuinely appreciate that both of these titles exist. While I'm not sure the publishers of either game have realized that gay gamers do indeed exist, these games appeal to a untapped audience (up till now) that is waiting to be as shamelessly marketed to as everybody else and for that I'm thankful.